Monday, May 12, 2014

2224 Spay the Piper

Saw an interesting press release recently. It said, "Concern for Animals is offering $3 spay procedures for 120 female cats on Wednesdays through May 14th for Thurston County residents that qualify. In cooperation with Animal Care Veterinary Clinic, they're offering $3 Spay procedures for up to 20 female cats each Wednesday."

My question: I notice they specify they're doing the spaying to 120 female cats. Um...Is it possible to spay a male cat? Aren't they neutered? I'm thinking most pets, when you take them in to be de-sex-organed, are surprised anyhow, especially if they have to wear that funny headgear afterwards, but imagine the surprise of a tomcat if you spayed him.

I like the term "altered." It's so much gentler than spayed or neutered. Spayed sounds like you're going after the cat with a garden tool. Maybe having her hoed or tilled or troweled. Or, if it was a big cat, she wouldn't be spayed but shoveled. 

Continuing the garden theme, when males get neutered, you could say they were pruned or sheared. Bad? Castration sounds worse. But having a cat neutered sounds even worser. It's as if you're removing all trace of gender identity. You're now an impersonal pronoun or article. Like some Addams Family animal. He, She, and cousin Itt.

I actually prefer the gender and otherwise neutral term "altered." As in, I'm having my pet altered. Sounds like a minor tuck or styling salon visit. Not a harsh surgery involving the loss of one's reproductive organs. 

Almost like taking him or her to the tailor. Reminds me of my first day at work in a men's store when a customer came up and said, "I'd like to have these pants altered." 

"What?" I asked. "You don't want them to reproduce?"

America, ya gotta love it. 

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