Tuesday, May 06, 2014

2220 Twaddiction

I'm okay with a lot of new technology. As a writer I'm particularly happy with the internet and the power of Google and Wikipedia to pretty much be a fingertip instant gratification library. Perhaps that's why I've resisted having a smartphone.

That and I don't trust the darn things not to reveal to spies where I am and what I'm doing every minute. If the NSA and Russian hackers can break into my computer and turn on the camera and microphone, why couldn't they do the same thing with my smartypants phone? The President better check his before he makes his next move in Ukraine. 

The truth is, it's precisely my complete embrace of internet accessibility that keeps me away from a smartphone. I know my own OCD qualities and predilection for addiction.

I see all the folks obsessively checking their Twitter feeds, emails, and Facebook posts. I see them twitting, posting and texting. I almost never see them phoning on their phone. There but for the grace of not having a smartphone go I.

Are they addicted? Oh yeah. Tell them about their behavior and the first thing they say says it all: "I'm not addicted. I just tweet because I enjoy it." "I only post to Pinterest when I'm out with friends." "I'm just a social tweeter." "I only tweet about twenty times a day." "I just do Facebook because I choose to."

My favorite is, "I can stop anytime I want." And then their phone pings and they yank around to it faster than the speed of light. Their head nods to their phone so quickly it blurs like Speedy Gonzales' cartoon feet. 

Sorry friends. Time for a Twittervention. The time has come to admit we have a problem. 

It's time for Twitter Twelve Step. 

America, ya gotta love it. 

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