Tuesday, March 11, 2014

2180 Smelltone

People in the media are always trying to sniff out the hottest new apps coming around the corner. "App" is of course short for application, which is just another word for computer program.

Like "cloud" is another word for data storage servers someplace other than your own computer. It supposedly being safer to store sensitive data at a place far away where a hacker can get to it all at once and not have to plumb every individual desktop. 

Anyhow, a new app is attracting the tech world and coming up smelling like roses. Literally. It's an app to give your smartphone smell. 

App is inaccurate. It's actually a peripheral. It plugs into the headphone jack of your smartphone or device. The article I read on it called it a "smell dongle." Which for some reason sounds like an olfactory bulb or a nasal polyp.

Olfactory bulb is a pretty good description since it's indeed a golf ball-sized doohickey. It sells for $35 and contains a scent cartridge containing enough liquid for 100 sprays. Not what they usually mean when they say a plug-in for your computer. More like a Glade Plug-in for your wall.

It is not, unfortunately, a means to smell things in your online books or stories. Not like an added dimension of perception in your media consumption. It just spritzes out a warning that you've got a call, text, or email. 

No more interrupting meetings when your phone blares an annoying ringtone of a song no one listens to anymore. Or vibrates loudly on a tabletop like an adult toy gone berserk. The Scentee smell dongle will silently waft out a warning. 

Choose your alarm scent well. One person's kim-chee is another person's testosterone-taking weightlifter's ripe armpit.

"What stinks?"

"Sorry, I've got male."  

America, ya gotta love it. 

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