Friday, March 07, 2014

2178 Dingling Participle

I'm beginning to think a prerequisite for running for public office is to have a weird name. Maybe it's because folks with odd monikers get teased mercilessly in junior high school and that sharpens their wit and resolve, and desire for revenge and vindication. The old boy-named-Sue syndrome.

A couple of examples I ran across recently were John Dingell and John Hickenlooper. Dingell just retired after 59 years in congress. Hickenlooper is Governor of Colorado.

When I heard Dingell was retiring I was both amazed and alarmed. Really? We still have someone making laws who's been at it since 1955? Does he even know what "tweet" means. Should a guy like that have anything to say about net neutrality laws or the NSA hacking into fiber optic lines? Back in 1955 hacking was something you did to wood and tweet was what the birds did in the tree you were cutting down.

I appreciate historical perspective and all but the 1955 era of KKK lynch mobs and Red Scares and women-should-stay-in-the-home tirades is thankfully mostly departed. 

The most notable achievement from congressman Dingell was when he reached across the line to Arkansas' Congressman Robert Berry to reign in Star Trek fanatics who were causing alien hysteria like the earlier Orson Welles War of the Worlds. The historic Dingell- Berry law of 1967 forever banned false frightening news stories about Klingons circling Uranus. 

Then there's John Hickenlooper. Governor of Colorado. Legal state for cannabis. How unfortunate. Hickenlooper sounds not unlike a word for a joint. 

Kind of like how Starbucks has different names for the sizes of their drinks. Tall, Grande, Venti, and Trenta. Marijuana cigarettes are called Doobies, Spliffs, Fatties and Hickenloopers.

Dude... Nothing like doing a hickenlooper and then digging into a piping hot dingleberry pie.  

America, ya gotta love it.

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