Like the Sealy company. I mentioned in a recent essay how they have a new bed that they call a "Hybrid." Which could mean they want it to sound like an exotic cross-pollinated flower. Or they want it to sound like a Prius. Not sure which I'd rather sleep in.
Because this time of year my problem is I'm allergic to some flower pollen. Then again, I'm not so sure cuddling next to a bedload of lithium ion batteries is good for the human reproductive cycle. Although at this time of my life I'm likely to be more of an uncle than a dad.
I don't have that many nephews... that I know of...
Anyhow, Sealy also has a new tag line that I saw in their Hybrid commercial. A branding statement, if you will. And it's a little odd. "Whatever you do in bed, Sealy supports it."
Hmmm. In some ways you could read that as a warm sentiment supporting gay marriage. Unfortunately, you could also read it as a license to bring out the sundry chains and leather goods. Make sure all your sheets and pillowcases, and bedclothes generally, are in shades of gray. It could be worse, people smoke in bed, or gorge on junkfood till they grow grotesquely obese and can't get out.
Or eat crackers.
Not to mention kids jumping on the bed and breaking the box springs and nearby furniture loaded with grandma's knickknacks.
So maybe it would be safer for Sealy to say, "Whatever you do in bed, between consenting adults, and that's generally healthy and responsible, Sealy supports it. Some restrictions apply."
America, ya gotta love it.