Wednesday, July 03, 2013

2021 I'll Ick

     My previous commentary, numbered and titled, "2020 Vision" was about the involuntary problems to my vision brought on by old age. Problems I have no choice about. For the most part that's true about things related to vision, unlike hearing problems.
     Many hearing professionals attribute various degrees of deafness to external causes. One spent too much time next to a jackhammer perhaps, or one's callow youth moshing at eardrum-splitting rock concerts.
     One usually doesn't lose one's vision from such external environmental causes. "Oh, he's turning blind because he spent too much time in a bright room." Sure, one can stare at the sun after popping LSD at one of those rock concert things and lose both his sight and his hearing but such instances are rarer than a texter with thumb-related carpal tunnel.
     Well, forget about rock concerts, youthful faddism has a new dangerous trend: Eyeball licking. Yep, apparently it's all the rage in Japan. It started there in a middle school and videos of it have since been posted on YouTube, so, you know, it's now all the rage.
     The kids call it "worming." I guess because it feels like a worm in your eye. Scientists call it oculolinctus, because "eye licking" sounds so gross.
     Here's the really bad news. It can cause blindness. Which, unfortunately, adults have always told kids, to stop their bad habits.
     "Don't do that, you'll go blind."
     Even more unfortunately, in this case it's true. Pink eye, chlamydia, and who knows what from all sorts of  bad bacteria on your friend's tongue.
     I trace it to all the other I-fads. The "80s" was the "me" decade. The "Teens" is the "I" decade. iPads, iPods, iPhones, and now Eye Licking.
     A certain company's no longer the apple of my eye.
     America, ya gotta love it.

No comments: