Wednesday, July 30, 2014

2278 Standard Issues

A couple of random thoughts to share with you today that for the life of me I can't segue together into any sort of coherent theme. I know. Banner day in commentary land.

First random thought. Aren't you getting sick of those flag signs businesses keep planting in their yards next to the road? You know, the ones flapping in the breeze to get your attention, but incredibly hard to read. 

Hard because either the business only printed one side of the flag and the wind has whipped it around backwards, or because the business has so much to say they print it sideways. So the only way you can read it is to cock your head. Ouch. Taco neck from a flapping banner. 

Second random thought. I think I finally figured out why we see so few dead birds. Thousands of birds must die every day but where are the bodies? Recently I hit a bird while I was driving and got a clue.

The bird had suicidally flown under my car and when I looked in the rearview mirror afterwards, I saw it wriggling on the road and flapping like a roadside flag sign. Then suddenly it was surrounded by a gaggle of similar-looking birds. The rest is too gruesome to report. Suffice it to say I nearly got whiplash turning away in horror. 

Bird corpses aren't found because their fellow birds eat them. The great pecking party in the sky. Cannabirdism. 

Last random thought. Saw a great headline recently that epitomizes the perils of govspeak. In reporting on a fire that had been raging in the mountains this is what a government spokesperson said: "Goat Rock Fire exhibiting reduced fire behavior." 

I think they mean it's dying down. 

Or is it flagging? 

America, ya gotta love it. 

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