Monday, July 07, 2014

2261 Light Bulge

Words words words. I get caught up in them, especially in advertisements, because I'm not sure the writers of them fully understand their power.

Take Starbucks. A fine organization in many ways, ranked in the top five in fast food establishments nationwide. Which is odd, as I don't put them in the same category as McDonalds. Somehow an Egg McMuffin isn't the same as a triple Trenta macchiato. Although the latter probably contains as many calories. 

In any event, Starbucks is going after the wimpy coffee market these days. Not content to just harvest in the dark roast types, they're offering lighter alternatives. Starbucks "blonde roast" they call it. "Blonde" after the color not the roaster.

In pursuit of that, they have a commercial that features a barista pouring a light coffee from the spigot of one of those mega-thermos things. Then the announcer talks about a new blonde roast flavor. And says it's "...available only where you buy groceries." 

Based on the spigot image, does that mean they think you can buy groceries at Starbucks? Is that what they call their eatable offerings? Not sure I can live on rich pastries and biscotti but I suppose I can try. If it really means only where you buy groceries, what if I buy my groceries at 7-Eleven, or a mom and pop convenience store? Or Trader Joe's? 

Which, by the way, had a disturbing item for sale in their most recent circular. Why is it, also by the way, that circulars are shaped like rectangles? Anyhow, the item was "Carrot and Cilantro Bulgur Grain Salad." 

Bulgur grain. Yuck. Sounds like a combination of bad and vulgar. Or that it will make you bulge. Not the least bit appetizing. 

Maybe if they offered it in Bulgur blonde.... 

America, ya gotta love it. 

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