Monday, January 27, 2014

2150 Head Lines

Like any other child of modern times, I'm attracted by headlines. No, not lines to the toilet at concerts and football games, the kind you see in the newspaper. Or what passes for the newspaper these days online.

Headlines pique the interest, like one I remember from long ago. It was in the local paper in the sports section and it said, "Sonics Pick Off Nuggets." For some reason that line has stuck with me like a booger on a wall for all these years. 

Headlines are essentially teasers, constructed in such a way that you want to explore further. Headlines online have gotten even more teasy, done in such a way that the last couple of words are cropped off, so in order to even read the whole headline you have to click away from the news aggregator and head to the actual website of the headline in question.

I saw one recently that got my attention pretty good. It said, "Beanie Babies Billionaire could get prison time." Partly it was because the headline used alliteration. I love alliteration, that seductive selection of similar sounding syllables. Beanie Baby Billionaire, it just cries out for extended exploration. 

And the questions it provokes: Someone survived the Beanie Baby Bubble? He's a billionaire? Has anyone even heard of Beanie Babies since Magic Cards, Pogs, and Hummel Figurines? (BTW, I think because of the Beanie Babies craze, I always thought Hummel Figurines were sculpted out of mashed garbanzo beans.)

The last time I saw a Beanie Baby was in my deceased grandma's survival kit in her storm cellar. She apparently thought she could cut one open and make soup if she had to. 

Headline material right there: Senile Senior survives bad bout of Beanie barfing.

America, ya gotta love it. 

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