Monday, January 20, 2014

2145 'Taint Donkey

One of the oddest stories to come galloping down the pike recently was the unfortunate plight of Walmart in China. Seems one of their food items was adulterated with a foreign substance. As the whole Chinese food chain issue has been a problem, this was particularly vexing for Walmart, who sought to maintain a sterling American-style Upton Sinclair food reputation.

The problem, as the news stories put it, "Tainted Donkey Meat." Did you say Tainted Donkey Meat? That's right, Walmart's ever popular "5 Spice Donkey Meat" was contaminated with some other animal. Oh the horrors. To have your donkey tainted! 

The story said donkey meat is a very popular snack in China. You haven't lived till you've had donkey jerky. Or a donkey Slim Jim. 

It gets better, or worse. Authorities were able to determine what was spoiling that pure donkey flavor. The Shandong Food and Drug administration -- Shandong is the local authority on donkey -- determined from DNA analysis what the offending filler meat was.


Fox? you ask, Why would they add fox? My thoughts exactly. You'd think fox would be an even more exotic and expensive meat. Why use a fox to stretch out your donkey? That's like stuffing your chicken nuggets with pork loin.

And who first detected it? "Honey, is it just me or does my donkey taste a little doggy."

"I didn't do anything to it. And I don't think it's doggy dear, tastes a little like fox if you ask me." 

Speculation is, it wasn't hunted fox. All official fingers point to roadkill. Which, if you need another reason, is a good reminder to steer clear of meat products from China. 

On the other hand, it would make a great Jimi Hendrix song. 

Foxy Donkey...

America, ya gotta love it. 

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