Friday, March 22, 2013

1949 PxxPS

If it seems like I've been commenting a lot on food contamination recently, it's true. Because there’s been a lot of food contamination in the news. The most recent episode is weirder than usual.
First, it has to do with candy. In this case, Easter Candy. Seems Zachary Confections recalled their Chocolate-covered Marshmallow Eggs because they were feared to contain salmonella. A wise move. And since salmonella sometimes leads to vomiting, an even wiser move not to purvey an Easter candy that may rise again.
All and all, a good precautionary action. Zachary Confections is to be applauded for their proactive measures. Unfortunately, about a week after I heard about the recall, I heard that they had determined that there was no salmonella contamination after all. An independent testing laboratory had confirmed that there was no problem.
But what a problem for Zachary. Because it presented a horrible conundrum from a business standpoint. How do you recall a recall? Good news never travels as fast as bad. Nor does it stick. How do you convince the news media to say, "Um... nevermind..."
Worse, it's not like they're real eggs and can be sold 24/7/365. Chocolate-covered Marshmallow Easter Eggs are not a repurpose-able commodity. It's not like you're going to make up sales on the Fourth of July.
"I packed the hot dogs and buns and pickles for the picnic, Hon. What's this stuff?"
"I got a deal at the grocery store, Dear. I thought I'd try chocolate marshmallow egg salad."
Another issue is that marshmallow tends to do the reverse of salmonella in the ordinary course of events. Kind of an anti-diarrheal. I remember gorging on those marshmallow Peeps one Easter and finding that out the hard way.
I was too peeped to poop.
America, ya gotta love it.

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