Wednesday, March 06, 2013

1937 Antitwerp

Some very disturbing news to newlyweds lately. The price of diamonds may go up even further. Because for a while at least there'll be a slightly diminished supply. And like the oil business, even the smallest pinch in flow can lead to big pain in the gas later on.
Recently, there was a huge jewel heist of uncut diamonds. No one is exactly sure how much money the theft was worth, as the diamonds were uncut.
What I do know is, it's a great opportunity to say the word Antwerp. Antwerp---sounds like an insect dork or the aunt of a nerd. Don't be such an Antwerp.
Antwerp is in Belgium, which is close to the Netherlands. It's also in the Flemish section of Belgium. Which, I think, is very densely populated. Someone once told me Flemish people are used to living in a congested state.
The word Antwerp supposedly derives from a legend involving a mythical giant by the lovely name of Antigoon, who in fact was a pro-goon, who would charge a toll to cross the river Scheldt, and if the traveler refused, he would cut off one of their hands and throw it in the river. I'm guessing it created a small wave.
A hero eventfully came along and got the upper hand, cut the giant's off, and saved the day. The Dutch words hand werpen, mean, literally, hand throwing. Those words were merged somehow. Hand werpen to Antwerp. Surprisingly, in Belgium today there is a ban on all hand werpens.
Perhaps because the authorities are worried about diamond heists.
I think I know who the culprit must be. The one person I've heard obsessively talking about Antwerp for decades. That's right. Tom Shane, your friend in the jewel fencing business.
America, ya gotta love it.

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