Wednesday, August 28, 2013

2059 Scents of Disgust

As I age, I find myself more and more intolerant of other people's odors. By which I mean perfumes and colognes. Judging by the smells I smell on people, it's teenagers who find it most necessary to douse themselves with odiferous compounds. The smell of teen sprit is certainly quite pungent in the mall. 

But there's also been many a meal in restaurants that I've had ruined by older women, by which I mean older than teenagers, not elderly. Powerful colognes like Obsession and their like, permeating through the closed atmosphere of a dining room, totally disrupting any attempts by my nose to appreciate the subtle nuances of flavor in the dish in front of me. Restaurants should have not only "No Smoking" but "No Cologne-ing" sections. 

And, yes, I said flavor. Since your tastebuds can only distinguish salty, sour, bitter, sweet, and umami, it's your nose that supplies the subtleties of flavor. 

I've often wondered how much of the vaunted deliciousness of southern BBQ enjoyed in rural BBQ places is the smoke wafting out of the back room and making the meat on your plate seem that much more barbecuey.

Anyhow, what led me down this garden path was the bottle on my desk in front of me. It's the empty remnant of a hairspray bottle I used. It is, of course, labeled as "unscented." It only makes sense that adding scents to my body is bad for my digestion as well, so I seek out unscented body products. 

Imagine my disappointment when I finally read the ingredients list to confirm what my nose had all ready told me. The sixth ingredient on it was "fragrance". 

Huh. Must be the fragrance of unscent. 

Added to disguise the misleading marketing fact that something stinks here...

America, ya gotta love it. 

No comments: