I see things weird. Not long ago I went to a celebrity auction up in Bellevue. And they had valet parking. I saw something weird in the parking area. A guy reaching into his pocket for a tip. He pulled out a big fold of money and then licked his finger and used it to count off some bills.
How gross is that? The poor valet now has to use money with that guy's cooties on it. I've read how tests on money say it contains traces of cocaine and stuff. From people rolling up bills and using them as snort straws. So that's bad enough. You got cocaine, nose gummies, and everyday dirty hands. Now you got spit too.
Let's just hope the valet doesn't have a cocaine habit of his own. Cause now he'll be sticking that guy's spit in his nose.
Another weird thing? I guess I never noticed the valet in valet parking was spelled v-a-l-e-t- before. Must be why I was surprised to be greeted by guys dressed in regular clothes and vests. I'd expected tights and tutus.
Because I'd always heard it as ballet parking.
Kind of made sense. You only get that kind of parking at hoity-toity places, why not have the parking attendants pirouette and leap and plie' and stuff? Class the joint up if you ask me.
Plus, I sort of didn't trust handing my car key to the guy and letting him get into my car. He looked a little scruffy under his vest. I'm sure I'd have a lot more trust in a ballerina. If only because she'd be easier to identify when the APB went out.
"All points bulletin---Look for a stolen gray Honda driven by what appears to be a large white swan."
America, ya gotta love it.