Thursday, August 08, 2013

2046 Phony Mail

Modern times carries its drawbacks, not unlike olden times. I always caution folks concerning whatever golden age they're nostalgic about. Important to remember those golden ages usually had more intolerance and not very good sewage disposal.
Still, modern cultural items often suck too. Especially things having to do with cellphones. Like that signature line in emails. I received such someone the other day. At the bottom of the email was this phrase, "Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse the brevity and any typos."
Really. You want built-in forgiveness for using your smartypants phone to communicate ineffectively? Shouldn't you instead exert the effort to be courteous and accurate in your communication? Not, "Um, pardon me. I bought this fancy new technology to communicate better so now I'll throw out 300 year's worth of communication’s foundations, spelling and grammar.”
Pardon my bad table manners; I don't want to go to the trouble of using a knife and fork.
Another annoying smartphone trait is the built-in branding at the bottom of an email. Like a Nike swoosh on your underwear. You know. The phrase, "Sent from my iPhone." Without the grammar disclaimer. I got this interesting variation the other day. It said, "Sent from my LG Optimus G Pro™, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone."
Really? What next? “Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note II with 3G HSPA+21Mbps, 4GLTE-100Mbps, 1.6 GHz Quadcore processor, Android 4.1 Jelly Bean, 140.9mm HD Super AMOLED display...”
How much advertising for the product will we tolerate in an ordinary email? It's like the US postal service stamping a branding statement on every delivery.
"Delivered by US Mail, Through Rain, Snow, Heat, and Gloom of Night for over 200 years."
All the way back to the golden age… when no idiots were using their smartypants phones to tweet while they drive.     
America, ya gotta love it.

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