Thursday, March 19, 2015

2426 Omahigh

The problem with average is you have to include low stuff to offset the high stuff.

So thank you Heartland Quality Omaha Steaks marketing department for making it seem like I'm getting a good deal on your prime steaks.  Unfortunately for your sales department, I can do math.

The ad for Omaha Steaks I saw offered a whole list of items for only $49.99.  It promised the following:
2 (5 oz.) Filet Mignons (which I think should actually be filets mignon, like brothers-in-law instead of brother-in-laws.)  
2 (5 oz.) Top Sirloins.  At Costco filets are $35 a pound so at first the total price seemed pretty good.  Sirloins, however, are closer to $6 a pound.

Then the list continued:
4 (4.5 oz.) Chicken fried steaks. (Cause if you're chicken-frying steak, it's gotta be prime stuff.)
4 (3 oz.) Polynesian Pork Chops (What flavor are they trying to cover up?)
1 (20 oz.) package of "all-beef" meatballs. (All of the beef, including lips and sphincters.)
4 (3 oz.) Jumbo Franks. (See previous comment)
4 (4 oz.) Omaha Steak Burgers. (Quarter-pounders come to mind for some reason.)

But wait, there's more.  Included in the average price of your meat is a 16-ounce package of Omaha Steakhouse Fries and 4 "Caramel Apple Tartlets."  Not sure if tartlets are smaller or younger than tarts but throwing in a whole pound of cheap potatoes to lower the average price of meat is marketing genius.

Bottom line, the 35 bucks a pound for filets makes the $49.99 total seem pretty good.  But there's not even 2-thirds of a pound of them at 10 ounces.  The combined meat weight total is 98 ounces.  6.125 pounds or $8.16 a pound.  

In my humble opinion, just a touch high for sphincter-enhanced franks and meatballs.

America, ya gotta love it.

No comments: