Friday, October 04, 2013

2084 E-Butt

My son visited me recently and he tried to addict me to smoking again. Okay, it wasn't intentional but I was surprised how darn near successful it was. He did it with an E-Cigarette.

I've seen E-Cigarettes from afar. Some of them are pretty large looking. Like the owner decided rather than opt for the elegance of a Virginia Slim, he'd rather enjoy the meatiness of a Jamaican fatty.

The E-Cigarette my son showed me looked not unlike a Kool 100. In fact, it was a menthol version of the contraption in question. Taste is a thing they're still buttoning down with the E-Butts but it's pretty amazing all the other successes they've achieved. 

An E-Cigarette uses a small battery-powered cell to vaporize a fluid that contains nicotine. It also contains propylene glycol so the process generates a small amount of vapor that's essentially water. Which has enough heft so it feels like you're sucking in and blowing out smoke. 

It really does. When my son handed me the device, which looked and felt exactly like a cigarette, my hand took to it quite naturally. I took a pseudo puff. The tip actually glowed. A nice realistic touch. 

Then, as I exhaled the vapor, I actually blew a smoke ring. A skill I hadn't exercised in the 30 years since I quit smoking. It felt good. I took another puff and all the sensations of smoking started to come back. I was like an alcoholic with a tiny shot of gin. When I took the third puff, the nicotine kicked in. Uh oh, that familiar buzz...

I thrust the E-Butt back in my son's hand and ran out of the room. 

It's billed as a smoking cessation device. If by cessation they mean re-addiction, they're dead on.

I came that close to becoming an E-Butthead... 

America, ya gotta love it.

No comments: