#349 Lawyers and Dwarves

There was an interesting article poll taken by the Zogby firm— the newest rage in polling. Zogby has tried different approaches to capture the essence of Middle America. Polls show that 75% of people know that polls are only as good as the sample from which you take them. If you cherry pick your sample, you can pretty much guarantee the outcome, so consumers getting pretty savvy when it comes to believing or not believing any given poll. Personally, I’ve always viewed statistical analysis as a suspect science. The idea that 1000 people chosen at random can predict anything as esoteric as an election or who’s listening to a given radio station just doesn’t stand up. Here’s why: Suppose I randomly selected all the people that day and they all said they listened to Spirit 1- 0- Whatever. Who’s to say that I didn’t accidentally run into a Wednesday morning prayer group down at the Walmart or even an AA meeting just out for the night. And as for elections. Gimme a break. Even factoring out the dead felons in Seattle and the mysterious missing voting machines in Ohio, how can you possible predict the outcome of an election by polling a thousand people? Only if that same thousand people are voting. It would be like getting a thousand folks together and asking them to predict the weather for the next five days. Day one would be pretty accurate, after that, it’s all wishful thinking.
Enough philosophizing. (I’ve always wondered why they don’t offer a BS in philosophy. It sounds so appropriate.) In any event, the Zogby poll has found that 75% of Americans can name at least two of the seven dwarves but only 25% can name two of the justices of the Supreme Court. Me too, heck I can never remember anyone other than Diana Ross. Oh right, Supreme Court, well, there’s Scalia, Roberts and, um, Dopey. And who the heck are Zogby’s folks to start flinging around that dwarf epithet again anyhow? It’s “Vertically challenged mine workers” Zog-boy. The same poll goes on to say that 70% of Americans know who Harry Potter is but only 50% know that Tony Blair is the Prime Minister of Britain. My poll shows that only 20% of those even know what the Prime Minister does. The other 30% think he’s that guy in the English church with the tallest hat. Zogby’s poll indicates 60% of those polled know that Superman is from Krypton while only 30 percent know that Mercury is the planet closest to the sun. Looks like a trend. Dwarves, Harry Potter and Superman versus Justices, Prime Ministers and actual planets. Looks to me like these lame ass real things need to get their own comic books. Obviously, reality is in trouble. Someone needs to come up with a Supreme Court happy meal. Ooh Mommy, can I get the Clarence Thomas action figure? Sure Honey, oh look, he’s dressed like a pirate.
America, ya gotta love it.