#344 Koronered

It’s political season again. That means the inevitable forest of political signs festooning the landscape like so much Scotch Broom. And about as useful. I mean, I’m in advertising, yet I’ve never really seen how it is that inserting your name in an annoying way in front of someone’s consciousness is going to help you come election night. But I guess it works. Name recognition is the single most popular reason people vote for someone. That’s why incumbents always have a bit of an edge. When the folks shuffle into the election church, or wherever it is their polling place is set up, all that stress makes them rush to the familiarity of a name like a pilgrim from Mexico heading back to his home toilet. Familiarity breeds contempt they say, but it’s just the reverse when it comes to voting. Unless of course, you’ve had forty years of Democratic congressional rule and someone comes along with this new “Contract with America” thingy that sounds and looks and feels oh-so-good. Too bad it ended up smelling so bad. When will our elected leaders learn, the opposite of tax and spend is not don’t tax and spend anyhow? It’s don’t tax and don’t spend. Or, here’s a novel concept¾tax and spend correctly. I mean, you and I can’t afford to fix the road potholes by ourselves. And that Eyeman guy down the street sure as hell isn’t gonna turn loose any of his screaming Lincolns unless you force him too. But all of us together can build a mighty fine road. So anyhow, what got me to thinking about this whole thing was a political sign for the office of coroner. I’m not completely sure why the coroner should be an elected official in the first place. It seems like one of those county jobs, like Head Engineer, that would do just fine as an appointed position. Or better yet, something you got hired for after submitting a resume with related job experiences. Maybe be hired by the chief administrative officer when you demonstrated you had sufficient knowledge of the human anatomy. Who can carve a corpse in how many minutes flat? Are you up to date on the entire last season of every CSI? That sort of thing. But what is really weird is that it’s a partisan position. The sign I read said so and so for coroner, G.O.P. Is there a significant difference between a republican coroner and a democratic coroner? Does the R always start cutting from the right? Does the R just start cutting period without making sure it’s in the right place or at the right time? Does the D not cut until the corpus is completely bloated and overgrown with bureaucratic parasites? Maggots and blowflies of paper-pushing redundancy. I’m just not sure a coroner should be a partisan position. Then again, they sure cremated Kenneth Lay’s body in a hurry after he supposedly died of a sudden heart attack right before the threat of actually going to prison might have loosened his tongue about his high and mighty buddies. Hmmm.
America, ya gotta love it.