#331 Kinetic Kids

We all like to think we’re multi-taskers. No one wants to admit that they really do perform best if they stick to one job at a time. I like to think of myself as a compartmentalist. Some would say I’m just mental. I find that if I open up too many mental windows at once my personal RAM soon gets overwhelmed with data I go into screen freeze mode. So I compartmentalize. I know that something needs to be done, but I shelve it away until a time when I can devote my full attention to it. I write an essay every morning. You may have heard it. America something. If I have an idea for the essay at some other point in the day, I do nothing more than jot it down and then get on with my life until the next morning. At which time I may or may not develop the idea. For that decision, I consult my subconscious, to see if the idea has ripened like a persimmon—or possibly festered like a boil—enough for it to be squoze out on the page. It’s funny that the people that seem to be the most adept at multi-tasking, the wired generation, are also the most adept at its opposite. When my teenagers are in multitasking mode they can listen to the radio, play a video game, surf the internet, and babble in the chatrooms, all at the same time they are supposedly doing a paper for school. But when they’re in the opposite mode, it’s a whole different story. I call them multi-slackers, cause they completely neglect to do many things simultaneously. Usually things I’ve asked them to. They’re always getting to it. They’re just about to start on that. The checks would have been in the mail but their dog ate it along with the homework they were doing last night while surfing the internet, chatting, and video game playing. Funny, the dog never manages to even nibble Grand Theft Auto.
This is the generation for whom was created and who mostly buy the newest mass market frenzy, the energy drink. Red Bull, Chronic, Rockstar and, oh yeah, Whoopass—which, of course, only comes in cans. So, you know, you can open up a can of whoopass. For all the energy drinks they consume they sure don’t seem to expend much of it on meaningful tasks, multi or otherwise. I understand that staying up till 3am and sleeping till two in the afternoon makes you feel a little logy and that an energy drink seems just the ticket. But if teenagers paid any attention at all to their diurnal rhythms, man, that would be a good energy source to tap into. But diurnal rhythms are one more example of bogus rules adults are always asking them to follow, so screw that. What do they know? They have to wake up early to go to jobs with multiple tasks they hate. And they sleep for their energy. We can get ours from a can. For only 3 bucks. Hey Mom, could you wake up and lend me some money for an energy drink? My friends and I are going to the all night movie.
America, ya gotta love it.