#335 Kernels of Wisdom

I saw this weird thing at an espresso place the other day. This guy was standing at the counter. He looked like he was from out of town. If I had to guess I’d say his name was Guido. He had a distinct Mafioso sort of look—sharp-creased dark suit, hat, sunglasses, pointy polished shoes. Not something you encounter often in summer in the northwest. He ordered a mocha. The barista asked if he would like it iced. He went very still for a moment.
Funny how the same word can mean so many different things.
One time I heard about the Nestles company firing a bunch of employees. A friend came up about the same time and said he had a staph infection. I guess Nestles thought they did too, I replied, but they fired em. You’ve no doubt heard that Nestles just bought out the Jenny Craig company. Is it Nestles again or is it still Nestle. Investors wanted something modern so they were like me. They lost their S in the stock market a while back. There seems to be something mildly unsavory about a candy company buying a weight loss company. Somehow it smacks of a corporate job security plan. Fatten em up slim em down, fatten em up slim em down, fatten em up slim em down. Next thing you know they’ll buy the Duncan Yoyo company. It’s like the windshield repair company that merged with the gravel truck company. Business is just a drive on the freeway away.
Jenny Craig always did well because they employed the referred lead strategy to great effect. Use people who have done well in the new regimen while they were still doing well to help recruit new folks. The before and after picture. Before the after after. Cinderella before the marriage. “Happily ever after” while the pumpkin’s still a carriage. It’s a great marketing ploy, word of mouth, even if it’s about stuff you put in your mouth, is very effective. Converts make the best missionaries. The people the churches send to the faraway tropical locations are the young, full of zeal, energetic recent converts, fresh from the purifying baptismal waters.
Speaking of the tropics, there’s a very small tropical disturbance affecting the weather this year. You know the big one, El Nino. And the slightly smaller and contrary one, El Nina. This very small one is called El Nano. Apparently Spanish for tiny.
Speaking of tiny, state sophomores had some tiny scores on this year’s WASL, the Washington Assessment of Student Learning. What a horrible acronym, WASL. Must have been named by the same folks who brought us Say Wa. In any event, parents wanted to eliminate the WASL for a variety of reasons. They were against the test. Others wanted to keep the test. So they had a demonstration at the Capitol. They were protesting the anti-testing movement—the people who wanted the test iced.
America, ya gotta love it.