#69 You’re Hired

As I’ve said before, America loves a competition. And I guess that explains why so many of today’s TV shows feature a group of strangers, fiercely pitted against one another, in a grab for that brass ring. The question is, do we like seeing the final final person win or do we just really like seeing the other people fail. Do we want to save the sinner; or do we actually relish the idea of him going to hell?
There’s a lot of negativity in the show “The Apprentice.” America loves it when Old Donald snarls out his patented “You’re Fired.” Too bad. You’d think, given the job market and the never-ending threat of outsourcing, most of America would prefer to hear the phrase “You’re Hired.” I’ve noticed lately though, that even old Mr. Combover has been a little more gentile in his dismissals, prefacing them with long expositions as to why and how and etc. Looks like even the Donald isn’t immune from wrongful termination lawsuits.
“Survivor,” the uber-game show and the first of the reality TV genre to really strike it big, devotes a large part of each show to the voting process by which member after member of the smelly unpaid cast is removed from the show by their backstabbing former friends. At least you can’t say they are removed unceremoniously. What with the parchment ballots, the extinguishing torches, and the eery chanting and music, you’d think the Pope and various shamans were on the production staff.
“American Idol” involves the public one step further. We can actually participate in a competitor’s demise. No longer do we just have to sit at home and hate one of the smarmy contestants for their hair or the whine in their voice or their snotty attitude. We can vote those suckers off and send ‘em packing right back to their conniving stage moms.
I’m sorry to say it but I have yet to see “The Great Race”. I like the idea. Races were, after all, one of the original competitions. Running away from wooly mammoths was a great original survivor skill, and living to see another day was far more prized than immunity from your teammates’ votes.
There’s a new show I just heard about. “The Cut” or “Making the Cut” or something like that. TV is always so great when it comes to originality. As a great man once said: Creativity is great but plagiarism is quicker. Not only that, but as everyone knows, reality shows are pretty low on cast budgets.
Anyhow, the new show features a bunch of aspiring designers competing for the honor to work with Tommy Hilfiger. Go figger. Gee, it sounds a little like, um, the Apprentice. Cripes. Why don’t they just have Tommy and Donald compete for worst middle-aged man’s hairdo? It promises to be quite a good show though. Word has it that at the end of the show, Tommy and his winning Protégé will be launching a new line of clothes, to be modeled by none other than Mick Jagger. It’ll be called “Over the Hilfiger.”
America, ya gotta love it.