#66 Gifting

From time to time, just to keep up on how much the world has changed, I look up things like etiquette and anniversary gifts. I like to be right on top of the current rage when I give someone a gift. I’m glad to see avocado-colored appliances are back in. I can finally get rid of the toasters I made a killing on in close out bins in the seventies. What goes around comes around.
I’m one of those people who likes to give gifts. And I also like to say it just that way. When I was in the investment business, advisors were always talking to their clients about doing some gifting. Sorry. You can do some giving. You can give a gift. I don’t believe in gifting. Maybe its just me. But I’m driving a car. I’m not car-ring.
Anyhow, a brief glance at the new versus traditional suggested gift ideas for anniversaries was interesting. First of all, I noticed the list favors gift giving in the early years. It includes categories every year up through year 15, perhaps to indicate your greater need for a reward for staying together when you’re both still marketable, then starts skipping in blasé increments of five: 15th 20th, 25th, etc. all the way up to 60, where you score diamonds from all your friends. Okay, your friends are dead.
Many of the suggested gifts on the traditional list seem to indicate a time when some things were valued more than they are today. The traditional suggested gift category for the first anniversary is paper. Perhaps to help start a fire. Or to suggest the bride write to mother every now and then. Today’s first year anniversary suggestion is clocks. As in alarm, as in get to work, earn some money, and move out on your own you lazy kids. Traditional year two was cotton. Today it’s china. Good. I’m not really into fancy dishes, but I’d have had a hard time smiling and thanking someone for a wad of cotton balls. Thanks Aunt Myrtle, every time we absorb we’ll think of you. Old fourth anniversary calls for fruit/flowers, today’s fourth is appliances. Good call. While it takes fruit to make a smoothie, a blender can also be used for margaritas. Seventh was wool or copper, today it’s desk sets. Message here seems to be, then or now, you don’t want to invest too much around seven-year-itch time. Wool, copper, desk sets—make sure the gift can travel well to either side of the divorce courtroom. The eleventh is kind of curious; again reflecting the relative value of things at different times. The new suggestion for the eleventh anniversary is jewelry. The traditional suggestion was steel. Hard to find a good piece of steel back then. Golly shucks, we was just out of the bronze age when this here list was made up. Can’t wait to the 13th anniversary when we get corn cobs for the privy. Tenth is intriguing. Traditional was tin. The new one is leather. Leather huh? I think someone’s marriage just got a new lease on life. Growl. Happy anniversary, Baby.
America, ya gotta love it.