Wednesday, September 10, 2014

2308 Bug Spray

Chances are you bug people. You even bug the whole territory around you. Turns out your microbiome, as scientists call it, extends a lot further than anyone ever thought. It can take over a room. 

Science has recently begun to concentrate on the microbiome, the study of all the tiny bacteria we carry around with us and the role that horde plays in our health and well-being. 

Gut bacteria have been found to contribute significantly to a person's health, both in food digestion and fighting off other bacteria that cause sickness. Wide-spectrum antibiotics often do more harm than good, because they kill off the beneficial bugs in our system. 

What surprised researchers recently was how we carry our bugs with us on vacation too. And distribute them in rooms we inhabit. They determined that when you stay in a hotel room, you needn't worry about the icky germs the previous resident left behind. Within 24 hours your own bacteria will have taken the room over. Check-in day is bacterial D-Day in the war to conquer a room. 

Sneezing, coughing, and passing gas are like your personal bug spray. 

Scientists think police will be very interested in this, since a person's microbiome is intensely individual. A bacterial signature that's more identifiable than a fingerprint. Kind of a germ selfie. 

A CSI guy could go into a room where a crime was committed and sniff out the perp's bug I.D. in no time. They'd better hurry. You'd have to be careful the police don't infect the room as soon as they enter. Or the maid that discovers the body. 

I see lots of legal wiggle room. If the bug don't fit, you must acquit. 

Question: If the microbiome originates in the colon, does that mean they colon-ize the room? 

America, ya gotta love it. 

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