Friday, April 11, 2014

2203 Chicken Lickin'

I, like you, like most of us, spend a fair amount of time every day consuming one of the largest commodities our culture produces. Commercials.

I don't resent this. Commercials, to me, can be the best our artistic endeavors create. Miniature stories or movies. Information about a product, service, or destination I wouldn't have known otherwise, all wrapped up in a festive coating of entertainment.

But sometimes they get it wrong. Like recently I saw a commercial for KFC. They were promoting their Dip'ems 20 Piece Bucket. They had a family sitting around the table consuming it. The mom was the narrator and she was talking about what picky eaters her kids were and how the dippable chicken strips with six different sauces satisfied all of them. 

Then she, the dad, and the two kids all started dippin' and nippin'. That's where it all went horribly wrong. Because by nippin' I mean they nipped off tiny bites of the very long pieces and then acted as if they were about to double or triple of quadruple dip. 

“Argh,” I grimaced-growled, “Cross-contamination.” Everybody was about to re-dip their previously mouth-contaminated end of chicken tender in the common dipping containers. Even if their mouth wasn't filled with cooties, if one or more of the chicken tenders was undercooked and rife with salmonella everyone else would now get it too. Hey KFC, you should be stickin' to chicken that's KFC finger lickin' not ABC family dippin.'

On another note, I've noticed a whole bunch of commercials lately promising their products or services would be "beyond your expectations." Too many, really, to believe. So question: Are services and things getting that much better? Or are our expectations simply getting lower? 

Pass the toxic chicken, Mom. After you spit in the sauce...

America, ya gotta love it. 

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