Tuesday, April 01, 2014

2195 LeManwich

I was listening to a commercial on the radio recently and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. On the one hand it was kind of a clever concept. On the other it was vaguely unsettling. Because it was sort of about cannibalism.

The commercial was from McDonalds and it was about their new Bacon Clubhouse Sandwich. The announcer said that it was a step above an ordinary sandwich. In fact it was "about as LeBron James as a sandwich could get."

Because, um, when I think Bacon Clubhouse, I think sweaty tall basketball player. 

The commercial went on to say that the sandwich is like LeBron because, "it gets all up in your face." And that, "it'll even dribble."

Two things: As a beard wearer, having a sandwich get all up in my face is a non-starter. I don't even like those fancy 3-inch high cupcakes because I'm plucking frosting nuggets out of my mustache for the rest of the day.

And two, informing me that a sandwich will "even dribble" just sounds icky. Especially when the implication is that LeBron James dribbles. The comparison suffers because a basketball can only dribble one way, i.e. bouncing on the ground. Which you wouldn't expect of a sandwich. But humans and sandwiches can actually dribble in a similar way. As in wet slobbering mess. 

The commercial concludes by saying that the sandwich comes in a artisan roll, "so it's handsome, just like LeBron." Then LeBron's voice saying, "Man, I make a great sandwich." Which, you know, if I was stranded on a desert island, or in the Andes with a crashed plane, may be tempting. But otherwise... 

I think I'd rather appreciate LeBron in the basketball court. Not the food court.

America, ya gotta love it. 

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