Wednesday, April 09, 2014

2201 Cheese Please

Recently I saw a headline on the Google news page that promised to share the entire new Taco Bell breakfast menu. Naturally, I clicked on it. With the teaser they put out a few weeks ago about the Waffle Taco, I couldn't wait to see what other Munchie-friendly concoctions they'd invented. Pancake Taco? French Toast Taco? Donut Taco?

As we've often been told since the days of Ben Franklin, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Even its name "break fast," tells us we're putting an end to a substantial period of hunger. It's time to dig in, refurbish the calories, and get charged up for another work day. 

So thank you, Taco Bell for making the experience more enjoyable. Especially with all the other fast food outlets, including Dunkin' Donuts, ballyhooing their depressingly healthy egg white selections, it's good to see an unabashed conglomeration of artery coating fatty saturation. 

It's good to see cheese.

“Cheese?” You say. “For breakfast?” Indeed. Five of the six new Taco Bell breakfast items come with cheese. Bacon or Sausage Breakfast Burrito, Bacon or Sausage A.M. Grilled Taco, Steak and Egg Burrito, Sausage Flatbread Melt, and the Bacon or Sausage A.M. Crunchwrap.

Listen to this line from their menu description for the Bacon or Sausage A.M. Crunchwrap: "All the classic breakfast tastes, like fluffy scrambled eggs, real cheddar cheese, your choice of flavorful bacon or a hearty sausage patty, and a golden crispy hash brown wrapped and grilled in a warm flour tortilla." 

Um... When did cheese become a "classic breakfast taste"? I certainly never had it with my bacon and eggs at the diner. And I damn sure didn't have it as a kid with my cereal. 

It was Captain Crunchberry not Captain Cheeseberry. 

America, ya gotta love it. 

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