2199 Road Thrill

I was driving down the road the other day and man did I like it! Modern improved roads are nothing like the barely-paved soft shouldered byways of my youth. They almost drive themselves. All they need is a low track in the center of the lane and they'd be like the Autopia I once pined to be tall enough to ride at Disneyland.

Consider; your average road these days has a hard shoulder or breakdown lane on either side, so at the very least you have some slop room if you take your eyes off the road for a couple of minutes to do some texting.

Then you got Jersey Barriers to really keep traffic corralled. Nothing like a low concrete wall to prevent extreme meandering. I suppose a person sufficiently unconcerned about car body damage could navigate a road by caroming from side to Jersey Barrier side. 

Then there's the road turtles. Bumps to define the lane and red reflectors to caution you're in the wrong lane going the wrong way. Lately I've also noticed warning strips. Little not-really-speed-bumps placed perpendicular to the line of traffic to warn you of an impending school zone or tight curve.

You know, because the huge yellow and black arrows and 20 MPH and SLOW DOWN signs don't get your attention enough. I'm worried when they feel it's necessary to put in the equivalent of road Braille. Is it a good idea to encourage blind people to drive?

But my favorite modern improvement is the rumble strips on the edges and center line. You know you've strayed from the appointed path when your car starts to shake like a Magic Fingers bed in a cheap hotel room. 

Vibration... 

Did I mention I really like driving on the new roads?

America, ya gotta love it.