Thursday, February 27, 2014

2172 Crossed Words

I get hung up on the crossed meanings of words sometimes. To the extent I even have weird dreams about them.

Case in point, I was driving down the road the other day and saw one of those dance studios. It had a big sign saying they offered Pole Dancing. Pretty risqué, I thought as I drove by. But I guess on some subconscious level I was really curious about what they actually did in there. Sultry music? Low lighting? The clink of cocktail glasses? A recording of raucous men roaring their approval?

That same night I had a dream that I had gone in. Much to my surprise Pole Dancing was actually women in dirndls hopping around to accordion music conducted by a zombie Lawrence Welk tapping out a polka.

I got to stop eating kielbasa before I go to bed.

Crossed meanings caught me up another time when I heard a news story on the radio. The reporter was saying that a nearly 10,000 year old mammoth tusk had been found around here. The reporter then called it a fossil. 

Though I know we sometimes call old folks like Lawrence Welk fossils, I believe the exact meaning is only for once protoplasmic things whose tissues are now replaced by minerals and turned to stone. Just being really old and found in the ground doesn't count. Or I could be dreaming.

The last crossed word that caught me up was actually a short phrase used by a gentleman who spoke at an event I attended. At one point he said he was a "former veteran." 

Does that mean he rejoined the military? I'm guessing that's like a retired guy saying he's going on a vacation. But I'm not sure. 

Maybe I should take a poll.

America, ya gotta love it. 

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