Thursday, February 06, 2014

2158 Goateem

A good invention is one that after a few years you ask yourself, how did we even get along without it? Better yet, you don't even notice how much you've come to depend on it and really couldn't get along very well without it.

A bad invention is something that's flashy, catchy and forgotten in a couple of months. They're just gadgets. Gimmicks. One hit wonders of the techno-world.

I'm not sure where to place the item I read about recently. It's for people who would like the perfectly symmetrical goatee. I would say there's a need for such a thing. Who hasn't seen an ugly irregular hairball splayed on someone's chin?

Goatees have become ubiquitous. In the facial hair adornment department, almost as popular as the mustache. And as the manufacturers of this new product, the GoateeSaver put it, "to expect an individual to shave a perfect goatee every morning is unrealistic." I notice a little misplaced political correction in the afore-quoted marketing pitch. The use of the word "individual" instead of "man" is perhaps a little overzealous.

Anyway, males or females who prefer a perfect goatee need only buy the GoateeSaver. It's a plastic shaving template one holds in one's mouth while shaving around it. Yes, holds in one's mouth. You place inserts in your mouth and then bite down on them to hold the square-shaped template in place over your chin. It's got sides that are adjustable for the width of your beard, of course.

Invention? Gadget?  Tough call. 

GoateeSaver promises "a clean-lined and symmetrical goatee every time, no matter how unsteady your hand is because of last nights revelry," apparently targeting clubcrawlers and tailgaters as it's demographic. 

No word whether it also helps remove clotted beer and chili-dog clumps from your existing goat. 

America, ya gotta love it. 

No comments: