Wednesday, November 20, 2013

2117 Jammed Oceans

Lots of interesting news stories lately, like NASA now estimating space rocks the size of the recent one in Russia are actually a lot more common than they thought. Not long after the announcement a huge meteor blazed across the California skies.

I just hope they'll poke holes in our atmosphere and let all the global warming out. Because in addition to massive hurricanes and typhoons, global warming seems to be impacting our farming and fisheries. Droughts and floods. Coral reefs acidifying and dying. Add that to wars in the Mideast and fire and brimstone from the sky and we got ourselves an apocalypse. 

Unfortunately, there's a fungus killing frogs so we won't have a plague of those. 

Too bad, since they could have been an alternative food supply. Or perhaps you'd like some jellyfish soup. Because another recent headline proclaimed that jellyfish are taking over our oceans. Due to warmer ocean temperatures and over-fishing, jellyfish are blooming like crazy and we're really in a jam. 

Beach resorts report more stings. A salmon farm lost all its fish. Jellyfish blocked a nuclear reactor's cooling intakes, forcing a shutdown. It's like the attack of the blob, except it's the attack of a bunch of mini-blobs. 

What to do? The answer's obvious. Harvest the suckers. They are pretty much just loose gelatinous protein. Neutralize the stinging chemicals and use the rest as a protein base for food. Don't want a bowl of mucussy jellyfish soup or a big loogie steak? At least add it to animal feed and supply the food chain that way. 

Maybe if we actively harvest the stinging snotballs, regular fish can bounce back. Now all we need is a way to sop them up. Someone call Kimberly-Clark. We need some giant Kleenex. 

America, ya gotta love it. 

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