Wednesday, October 24, 2012

1849 Electronic Bum

The other day I had a dream that I saw a glimpse of the future. I was on a surface road, driving by a freeway interchange. And there was one of those hobo guys. One of the real bums, not one of those people in desperate need that we call homeless.
He was holding up a sign. But when he turned towards me I saw that it didn't have any words on it at all. It was just a piece of cardboard, on which was stamped a large QR Code.
Dude! What a brilliant idea! Freeway Onramp Bums are the last edge of technology penetration, but it's only a matter of time. I saw one the other day talking into his phone on the sly and it was a smartypants phone that was newer and better than mine.
So why not make the panhandling process more efficient. The government has already made food stamps electronic with EBT. This could be a private sector alternative for those who hate messing with the government as a matter of stubborn rebelliousness.
No more handing out dirty money and leaning dangerously out of car windows. Just take a snapshot of his QR Code, if you are so moved by his predicament, and follow the link to the Badly Underwritten Men website to make your contribution.
There could be a drop-down menu that would help you identify which onramp or off-ramp he was on. Northbound I-5 Exit 107. There could even be thumbnail pictures, in case a set of bums was sharing a QR sign.
Then you could just access his PayPal account and electronically transfer the money. Or not even actual money, you could press icons for e-coupons redeemable at the convenience store for oranges, sandwiches, and cigarettes.
Or malt liquor forties.
America, ya gotta love it.

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