Sometimes I'm not who I think. Or at least I say things that indicate I am other than I mean.
Like recently I was at a party and I mentioned something that had happened in the fifties, bobby sox or Bobby Darin or something. When I saw the look of incomprehension on the faces of the Gen X-ers present, I sheepishly said, "Oh I'm sorry. I'm dating myself."
That led to further uncomprehending looks, to which I replied, "Dating yourself is now legal, even in Kentucky." A smattering of laughter relieved the awkwardness of the situation.
Then someone asked if I was dating anyone other than myself and I confessed I was between girlfriends right now. "Which isn't as fun as it sounds," I added.
It's all about my identity I guess. I'm not sure who I am. The other day I was emceeing a parade and afterwards this family came up to congratulate me. The younger daughter said I looked exactly like the guy in Hunger Games. "Which one?" I asked.
"The evil one," she replied, "except he has a huge mustache and his hair is black and he's shorter."
"So exactly like him except where I'm different?"
"Right," she said.
I get that a lot. I have some sort of generic face. Nowadays I try to use that for good. Help out folks who have a member that didn't show up for a group photo. I'm their photoshop stand-in. Later on they can digitally wipe me out and replace me with the real guy's head. Adobe identity theft.
Probably no wonder. I used to pose for wallet photos when I was a child. You remember. Those photos that came in the little plastic sleeves when you bought a wallet?
There I go dating myself again...
America, ya gotta love it.