Monday, June 17, 2013

2009 True or False

     I get ideas from time to time, and I put them in my stack of notes awaiting development into essays. Unfortunately, these days the world is so crazy, when I go back to my notes I'm not sure what's true and what I made up as a semi-true sounding joke. I decided to sort through the stack and see what you think. A little test. True or false?
     Just revealed: Justin Bieber and Amanda Bynes use the same publicity firm as Charlie Sheen. False.
     Definition of an optimist: A Western Washington resident who grows tomatoes. True.
     Major announcement: In order to save real estate costs and increase overall investment returns, Edward Jones and Starbucks are now merging locations. False.
     Dunkin' Donuts launches new product: Fried egg and bacon wedged between two full donuts as a breakfast sandwich. True.
     Another definition of an optimist: A banana slug crossing the freeway. True.
     Bill O'Reilly speaks positively of Gay Marriage. Says it's the compelling argument. True.
     Anthony Weiner announces he never uses condiments. False.
     The Right Wing Media machine, out to capture the Hispanic Vote, launches Fox News Latino. True.
     Original name for Fox News Latino: Zorro News. False
     Rush Limbaugh says universal gay marriage inevitable. Glenn Beck says the principle is right. True.
     Oxytocin, the contentment hormone released in relationships, is also released in cat owners. True.
     In response to divorces, break ups, and pet deaths, people often lose weight. Conclusion, Oxytocin causes weight gain. Science pending.
     In an attempt to gain even more votes for Republicans, Fox News launches Fox News Rainbow Pride. Not yet.
     Perception of time seems to pass more quickly as people age. For a 60 year old, a 2 year relationship is like a one night stand. True.
     This test was D. All of the above.
     America, ya gotta love it.

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