Wednesday, January 30, 2013

1912 Houses of the Holey

Sometimes the solution to problems is to think out of the box. Sometimes it's to think further into it. Find a better way to utilize what you have already.
That's what I thought recently when I drove by a cemetery. As cities have expanded, the old vacant land that used to be on their perimeters has been swallowed up, and in many cases is now very close to the downtown core. Unfortunately, in the old days the farming and planting pioneers used that vacant land to plant their relatives.
Cemeteries are very efficient about people placement, with graves, vaults, crypts and other housing for the dead, and in fact are quite the example of urban density. But still, apartment buildings would fit quite nicely on said land and people living there could reduce commuter trip miles, and lessen both fossil fuel consumption and global warming.
Solution; respectfully move the deceased to those other large, and largely wasted tracks of open grass-covered land---golf courses.
Seriously, very few folks come at any one time to visit their expired relatives, so they wouldn't pose a problem to players. Even planting them along the edges of fairways would yield enormous amounts of space.
Think of the consolidation of costs. Greens-keepers and cemetery groundskeepers combined. And environmental benefits. Half as many lawnmowers belching 2-cycle pollution into the air.
Plus, some hardcore golfers would love the idea of being planted by their favorite green. "I got a hole-in-one there in '59, that's where I'd like to hole up for eternity."
Folks already pay big bucks to live in developments surrounding golf courses, think what they'd fork over to rest in peace in a little eternal abode even closer. A fairway to heaven.
And a whole different type of green house effect.
America, ya gotta love it.

No comments: