Tuesday, January 22, 2013

1904 Seasonal Variation

As the seasons turn we are confronted by seasonal oddities.
Like recently, it was January First, and I heard somebody wishing someone else Happy Holidays. I immediately confronted the person. "What is your problem?" I asked. "Are you one of those people conducting a war on New Year's?"
It's New Year's Day for gosh sakes. The first of the year. It's a special time for a special reason. A ritual observance of a time honored tradition in our culture. One that is laden with meaning to white Anglo-Saxon non-religionists everywhere.
The turning of the first page of the calendar.
I mean really, what do you have against New Year's? It's the time we take down our holiday decorations. A day filled with the mass carnage of football and preemptive utter destruction of dietary New Year's resolutions.
And don't go minimizing the change of the calendar thing. When the Mayans change their calendar, everyone thinks it's the end of the world. When we change our calendar, it's as apocalyptic as a paper cut.
So say it proud. Happy New Year! 7 days after Christmas, 11 days after the Winter Solstice. And the real reason for the season, the first day after the last day of the old year.
And bonus, it often officially kicks off the other seasonal thing. Galoshes. Oh gosh, you say, galoshes, it's the time of year for slushes and sloshes.
It's definitely a weird word. Galoshes. It actually comes from a word in French, "galoche," which, oddly, means sandal. How the years change things.
But every change of every season like this, I've always wondered one thing. What about the singular? Is there such a thing as one galosh?
It's my New Year's resolution to find out.
America, ya gotta love it.

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