Tuesday, August 24, 2010

1318 Poli-vent

It’s primary time again and that means one thing. Lots more junkmail than usual. Area printers are big winners. The direct mail piece has got all the candidates trying to save shoe leather by not having to do quite as much doorbelling.
But remember candidates, there’s nothing like seeing you in person or getting to know you by hearing your voice on the radio.
Personally, I like meeting candidates at fairs and festivals. Nothing says Primary time like the sweet smell of curly fires. It was cool this year at Lakefair. They had the Democrat booth and the Republican booth right next to each other. Friends on both sides of the aisle called me over. “Come on Jerry, get a Demo-burger.” “Come on Funny Guy, have an all-American (Ya Gotta Love It) Republican hot dog.”
Think there’s some hidden meaning in the fact both sides offered up processed meat products? What is it they say about not wanting to see how laws or sausage are made? I’m guessing it’s true for ground beef and hot dogs too.
One thing I noticed though. One night I had Demo burgers, and with their pile of Walla Walla onions, I developed a case of really bad breath. The next night I had a Republo-dog. And it gave me gas.
Near as I could figure this was a lesson. A biological allegory. Politics makes you smelly at both ends.
By the way, lots of campaign signs have pictures on them of little boxes with check marks. I guess they’re trying to demonstrate to people how to vote. But they better hope no one actually votes like that on the real ballot. A check mark will get the vote disqualified.
The campaign signs should show a little filled-in oval.
America, ya gotta love it.

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