Thursday, February 19, 2015

2406 Fine Time

As football gasps out its last puffs of exhausted air in final post-season deflation, it's interesting to note the preponderance of fines this year.  Or at least how unusual they are.

Like how Marshawn Lynch appears to get fined for not talking to the press but Roger Goodell allows himself to not do so fine-free.  Sort of reinforces the owner/wage-slave paradigm.

Marshawn got another fine for his obscene gesture, when he appeared to touch himself "down there" in celebration after a touchdown.  Never mind that it was a symbolic touch-down gesture.  Or that he appears to communicate quite well in mime.  The league still wants to fine him, in either the non-verbal or verbal arena.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.  Multiple paid endorsements either way, thanks to the publicity. 

Odd too, that his gesture was mild compared to the crotch grabs Michael Jackson once punctuated his songs with, or that the same action is repeated a thousand times each outing in your typical baseball game, as no one has yet designed a cup that doesn't require "adjustment."

Other players suffered fines as a result of a fracas at the end of the SuperBowl.  Seahawks Linebacker Bruce Erwin got hit for $10,000 for hitting an opponent.  Teammate Michael Bennett got $8,268, as did Patriots Rob Gronkowski and Michael Hoomanawanui. 

Not entirely sure why the NFL has odd numbers for fines.  $8,268 for a jab and $10,000 for a full roundhouse?  $9017 for a kidney punch perhaps?  Maybe they were per bruise.  Then again, how much fist damage can you do to a guy in pads? 

Doug Baldwin, meanwhile, got fined for his non-verbal celebration, as after a touchdown he mimed defecating on a football.  That fine was $11,025. 

Imagine if he'd mimed it fully inflated...

America, ya gotta love it. 

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