1871 Nest Quick

Another recall in the news. Another contamination. Some will say it's all about our industrialized food society. As if cholera and dysentery aren't major problems in more "natural" areas.
Still, when contamination does hit our mechanized food chain, the effects are as far reaching and quick as our highway system. The culprit this time? E-coli in the cantaloupes? Listeria in the lettuce? Nope, salmonella in the chocolate milk.
Chocolate milk, you say. I just gave up sunnyside-up eggs and peanut butter. Now I have to give up chocolate milk too? Where are all my comfort foods going?
Literally, down the toilet.
The chocolate milk in question is actually the powdered variety. Ironic in way, since what with chocolate-flavored Ex-Lax, having a chocolate-flavored concoction that also promotes loosened stool is not far off the beam. But salmonella-facilitated extreme loosening can prove fatal to those at risk, thanks to diarrheal dehydration.
Getting severe dehydration for a drink is a bit ironic too.
Anyhow, the product that could cause all the damage is a household favorite. Nesquik. Yep, Nestle Nesquik, the powder you add to milk to have a chocolaty drink. The one with its own spokesbunny.
It might make you move quick as a bunny too.
Nestle is voluntarily doing the recall because one of its suppliers notified them a batch of raw material might have salmonella contamination. The raw material? Calcium Carbonate.
Mmm. Love that calcium carbonate. Used in over-the-counter mineral supplements. One of the yummiest industrial chemicals. If you like the taste of chalk.
"But how?" You ask. How does salmonella get into a mineral? Don’t they mine it from marble or something? I think it's a conspiracy. Because it's also readily available from snail shells, oyster shells, and, um, eggshells.
Industrial chickens are exacting their revenge.
America, ya gotta love it.