Wednesday, April 28, 2010

1236 Armegreendon

My dear sister Merry called the other day. And she had an insight of deep theological and social import to share with me.
We all remember the first time the lord destroyed the world due to man’s iniquity. By the way, God, fair-minded deity that he is, destroyed all the women due to man’s iniquity too.
Well not all of them. God saved the wives of Noah and his sons Ham, Japheth, and Shemp. Domestic duties of the time being what they were, they probably needed someone to clean up the ark. Which unfortunately had two-by-two worth of stuff on the poop deck even a flood couldn’t wash away.
The second time the lord promised to destroy the earth it was going to be with fire and brimstone. But judging by recent events around the world, the good lord may have changed his/her all-knowing mind.
The leaders of our churches tell us the lord seems to be becoming more and more tolerant. God him or herself hasn’t changed, just our perception of what he/she’s allowing us to know.
Not as in favor of slavery as in the bible. More inclined to support women’s and gay’s rights. So it’s no surprise the method of world-ending appears to be in keeping with modern sentiments.
Let’s face it; fire and brimstone are a definite environmental no-no. Talk about carbon footprint. All that smoke and ash. And if you’ve ever smelled brimstone you know the meaning of greenhouse gasses. Your nose turns green from smelling it.
So as my sister pointed out, they say they aren’t related, but if you’re looking for a reason for all the emission-free earthquakes destroying the world lately...
Either 2012’s a little early…
Or it could be God’s gone green.
Ah...the ap-eco-lypse
America, ya gotta love it.

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