#866 Senior Marketing

My mailbox is my old-fashioned window to the world. And I finally got something in it that makes sense. It was from a printed ad¾one of those nearly extinct things you see from time to time, usually about midweek, stuffing your mailbox.
Or wrapped in non-biodegradable plastic littering your front yard. I haven’t opened one of the driveway rolls for ages except to remove the plastic and rubber band so I can put the paper directly in the recycling bin. A process that does nothing but make me resent the organizations that dumped it unwanted in my driveway.
Yard spam, who needs it.
The mailbox stack gets a little more thorough exploration, as it sometimes contains a bill or postcard of real mail accidentally slipped in. It was in this process that I noted an example of a print ad ideally suited for its target market.
It was an ad for a hat and it was an ad for seniors.
I doubt the target for this ad would ever see it on the internet.
Offered was a tan baseball cap. The kind you see on every guy over the age or 65, protecting his wispy-haired head from the sun, and/or holding in his body heat.
The head is the number one radiator of body heat. Put on a hat, you feel warmer right away.
Anyhow, the gimmick was, the hat has embroidered on it a strident senior message. Or perhaps it’s a demand. “Don’t forget my senior discount,” it brays, announcing to one an all that you’re not only “entitled” to special treatment to the tune of 10 percent off, you’re cranky about it.
Now I’m all for senior discounts. I’ve taken one myself from time to time. But I try not to insist. It’s up to the company to offer it to me. It’s not my right.
“The hat pays for itself again and again,” the ad proclaims assertively, “Make sure to get the senior discount you’re entitled to at restaurants, movies, and stores.”
The price? $7.95 plus 3.95 shipping and handling.
Strangely, they didn’t offer a discount to seniors.
America, ya gotta love it.