#863 Land of our Fathers

In my last essay, I suggested that the oil companies bail out Wall Street. They have sufficient capital to buy and hold the toxic mortgages until they become valuable again or the land underneath them does.
Once defaults happen on many of those mortgages, at least the oil companies would own all the land.
Then they could drill on it.
The idea has a lot of merit. First off, it’s cheaper for you and me. The government bailout plan requires every taxpayer to pony up the equivalent of 5200 bucks. Since that same government gave us 600 bucks last year this seems like what they used to call Indian giving—where you give something and then ask for it back.
The term “Indian giving” was never meant as a slam against Native Americans. It really referred to the endless contractual reversals of the federal Great Fathers who kept finding valuable stuff under treatied reservations.
Stuff like you know, oil.
In any event, a $4600 return on investment reaffirms the feds still know how to deal dirty.
So sell the mortgages to the oil companies. Then do one of two things with the land. Allow them to drill in the crackerbox developments where all the sub-primers defaulted.
(A derrick would make a nice cellphone tower so you’d have that problem covered too.)
The oil companies say new oil drilling is environmentally sensitive so why make them head off to the frozen wastes of Alaska where no one sees them.
Since it’s that clean, they can drill in our back yards.
Or...swap them acre for acre for offshore drilling rights.
My friend Rick had an even better idea. The tribal casinos have a ton of money they’re looking to invest. The money is just sitting around doing nothing. Have them form an investment pool and buy up all the mortgages.
Then the money gambled away by the descendents of the Great White Fathers will be used to buy up the land they stole from Native Americans so long ago.
Throw in a few strings of beads, and they could probably pick up Wall Street in the deal.
America, ya gotta love it.