#859 Snort of Liberty

My sister Merry got something at work and she and my brother-in-law Paul had some questions about it.
It’s an air freshener thing. The kind you hang in your car by a string. Most people that use them make sure the scent is compatible with eau d’ cigarette butt.
But in this case it created some head scratching. Because the name of the thing was “Freedom Freshener.” Printed on the freshener was the word America. The background picture featured three flags waving bravely.
I always wonder how respectful to the flag it is to depict it on things like napkins and air fresheners and stuff that we eventfully toss in the trash.
In any event, Merry and Paul sent it to me with a letter headed by the statement, “I was wondering what freedom smelled like.” Now they know. They’re not sure, however, whether this device smells like freedom or is meant to freshen up your freedom.
Probably both. It’s meant to freshen it up if the smell of freedom is not unlike the stench of fear from the pants of Wall Street traders. Or perhaps the aroma of unregulated mortgage companies furiously making money hand over sweaty fist.
Or maybe the waft of panic as they run by on their way to the feds to bail them out.
Maybe it’s the smell of golden parachutes made from the melted down money stolen from everyone’s retirement. That’s some freedom smell that could sure use freshening. The kitty litter odor from the fat cats that trickled down on the rest of us.
Then again, the smell of freedom could be good. Maybe it’s the smell of amber waves of grain. Of purple mountains and purple sage and purple dinosaurs that love children. The Smell O’America in all its wide wonderful glory.
Maybe I should just check the package. Uh oh. The package says the smell of freedom, the scent of independence, the snort of liberty is...sweet balsam.
Balsam...is that a native wood?
Wikipedia says, “Balsam is the resinous gum of the tree commiphora, native to southern Arabia.”
Arabia?
I’m thinking the scent company needs a geography lesson.
American pine would have been fine.
America, ya gotta love it.