#696 Un-hanced

So this article comes out recently about new revelations in the steroid scandal. It seems that Albany County District Attorney P. David Soares has broadened his probe to include steroid and hormone users in the entertainment community at large.
I mean, why stop with every sport as long as you’ve got good public money to spend on dragging entertainers through the tabloids?
P. David Soares sounds like he has political aspirations for the governorship. Hey, it worked for Elliot Spitzer. After that, who knows, he may be able to ride his probe right to the White House.
Quite frankly, I’m not as upset as I suppose I should be about this whole steroid thing. It’s kind of like laissez-faire economics. Things tend to find equilibrium.
Like the recent revelation that Roger Clemons supposedly took steroids. He’s a pitcher right? If the pitchers are doing it and the batters are doing it, well it sort of all evens out doesn’t it?
A pitcher and a batter, both on steroids, levels the playing field. If, in fact, Roger Clemons did do such a thing, it’s not much different than the baseball league raising or lowering the mound.
In any event, District Attorney P. David Soares announced that the entertainers Mary J. Blige and 50 Cent have used steroids or human growth hormones. Now what’s the point? Does it put more hip in your hop?
Or the more insidious, and dangerous to society, hop in your hip?
Does injecting a little hop in your hip make you rap a little faster, get down a little harder? Easier to keep up with the rhythm or hit the beat?
A spokeswoman for Blige said: “Mary J. Blige has never taken any performance–enhancing illegal steroids” Well, that’s good. You want to avoid that performance-enhancing stuff.
Look what happened to Milli Vanilli and Ashley Simpson.
Funny thing though, when I first heard of the scandal I thought of P. Diddy Combs. Maybe because the investigator was named P. David Soares.
People watching the potential New York Governor candidates positioning themselves will want to know one thing: That Hip Hop Investigator—P. David Soares—is he running?
America, ya gotta love it.