#692 Un Shui

I get into the habit of using certain words. Words that I didn’t understand before I started using them. Then I just naturally assume everyone else is on the same page and am surprised when other people don’t know what I’m talking about.
In the sales business, we call it jargon. You are supposed to avoid using it—inside terms about your industry that may make other people feel ignorant, and therefore resentful, and therefore think you think they’re stupid, and therefore don’t buy from you because you made them feel like an idiot.
All of which is to say that the other day I made a joke about feng shui and was surprised when the couple of people I made it to didn’t get it.
Feng shui, as you no doubt know, is the art of placing things in a room so the energy lines promote feelings of joy, good will, harmony, and possibly weight loss.
I don’t really know a lot about it, nor, frankly, do I care to, I just like the sound of the phrase feng shui. It’s confusingly Asian enough to stand in for any number of other Asian ideas or phrases.
One of the people to whom I made the joke was bumping the other and I said to the bumper that he should be careful because the bumpee knew feng shui. They both looked at me blankly. Then the bumper, obviously not sure, said, “Isn’t feng shui the...”
“That’s right,” I interrupted, “the ancient Chinese martial art of decorating. Bump her like that one more time and she’ll knock you out with a well-placed knickknack.”
At this point, everything resolved nicely into laughter. But like many jokes, it could have gone flat because the listeners weren’t up on the references.
But you know, it got me thinking a little further.
Ikea furniture is certainly not the most elaborate in the world. And its sparse, no frills, styling really doesn‘t lend itself to elaborate and foofy decors. It is, in a word, functional.
So would it be possible to decorate a place along that theme?
And call it functional shui?
America, ya gotta love it.