#695 Unlikely Juxtapositions

Sometimes what hits me is things that don’t go together. Unlikely juxtapositions if you will.
Like that camo cellphone I was talking about the other day. What kind of ringtones do you get for something like that? They’d have to be camouflaged too or it would definitely give you away to the prey.
In fact, camo ringtones are available—duck quacks and geese honks, maybe even an elk whistle. Of course you take your life in you own hands when you use them.
If you’re sitting in the woods, all decked out in leaf flap textured, odor subtracted, invisible camo and your camouflaged cellphone starts erupting like an elk in rut what do you think the chances are you’ll draw a wild shot from a slightly inebriated fellow hunter?
Another thing that didn’t go together: I was driving by this church and it had a big sign that said, “Join us for Superbowl Sunday. Watch the game on our big screen TV.”
And I thought, that’s weird, but it’s clever as hell. The devil of it is, it’s a perfect workaround to the “I’m not coming to church on Super bowl Sunday” excuse. Invite that TV temptation right in and sit it down in a pew.
Talk about taking the mountain to Mohammed.
The only thing missing is the mountain fresh beer. Maybe you could sneak some in with one of those camo beer cozies I saw at the outdoor store...
Which was another incongruous thing I saw. On this tavern was one of those signs the beer companies will pay for if it also displays the name of the beer.
The sign said, “Welcome Bikers.” Okay, I thought, this tavern’s up for a little action.
Then I noticed the beer brand on the “Welcome Bikers” sign was Miller Lite.
I suppose it’s all right for bikers to worry about their beer guts but, you know... For some reason Miller Lite just seems a little wimpy for a hog-riding road warrior.
Sounds like maybe he and his buds are ready to watch the Superbowl at church...
America, ya gotta love it.