#206 Undrums

As you’ve no doubt deduced by now, sometimes my mind gets drawn into these conundrums about words and stuff and then I go Rainman and can’t get out for a while. Is the opposite of conundrum pro-undrum? Is that a complete lack of mystery or a vigorous refusal to engage in riddles at all? And is the middle ground between pro and con simply an undrum? Hmm, un-drum. Meaning, I suppose, that you have no drum to beat for either side.
So what’s the word to describe taking down decorations anyhow? Is it un-decorating? De-decorating? The opposite of decommission is commission. The opposite of detumescense is tumescence. The opposite of dehumidify is humidify. You would naturally think the opposite of decorate would be corate. So I guess it’s fair to say that we are in the corating season as all of us corate our houses and living rooms and kitchens this time of year. We corate for the un-holidays.
Convents had nuns. Did priests have pro-vents? Of priests convents had none. But nuns had priests a plenty. At least judging by the foundling homes next to the convents and monasteries in the middle ages.
I feel fine if you don’t con-fine me. Then I don’t feel so good.
Is pre-venting something a way to control anger? Rather than let something build up too much so you really blow off steam.
If there’s a control is there a pro-trol? And does that mean you’re totally out of control? So were the policemen beating up Rodney King protrol officers?
Certainly not something to contemplate, or protemplate either, with delight. So how about the word delight? Is de-light the opposite of light. Only when someone asks you to turn out de-light. Careful as you drive here. Groaning affects driving judgment almost as bad as talking on a cellphone.
Some people think that the opposite of delight is pain. And yet all kinds of people find delight from pain. Odd but true. Millions of dollars are spent every year on painkillers and millions of dollars are also spent on piercing, tattooing, branding and suchlike.
I read a statistic the other day. It said the 28% of all adults reported recent low back pain. I’m guessing 50% of those were talking about BCTs, butt crack tattoos. The base of the spine is one of the most frequented strike zones for the tattooist’s needle. I’ve got a picture of a pencil tattooed on mine.
What’s the difference between a tattooist and a shock therapist for anorexics? One of them sticks needles and the other one needles sticks. And that, my friend, is a classic conundrum.
America, ya gotta love it.