#177 Lawdy Doddy

As everyone knows, the anti-indoor smoking initiative passed in our state and was written into law. No smoking whatsoever indoors. And out of doors, twenty-five feet from entrances and air-intake vents. Bus shelters are forbidden as well. What a lot of people don’t know is that at the same time, an anti-fireworks bill was passed in Lacey. That’s lucky for the Lacey smokers; now they won’t have to worry about how to light a firecracker with a smoldering cigarette from 25 feet away.
But what was most surprising about the passage of the initiative was how overwhelming it was. At the Secretary of State’s website, you could follow the links to a page where you can get a county-by-county breakdown of the vote. The “gas tax repeal initiative” for instance, was voted down most overwhelmingly in the counties that need the most road upkeep: King, Pierce, Kitsap, and Thurston. The take-me-home-country-roads red counties voted for the repeal. Or perhaps they just got confused like me and voted against the repeal, thinking they were voting against the tax. Fortunately, I caught myself in time. I actually wanted the tax. Surprise, surprise, I know it’s an unpopular idea, but I can’t afford to fix potholes all by myself. That’s why that whole municipal pooling of resources tax thing got started. And helped provide funds for sewage and water systems. And just in time too, that whole crapping in the street thing was killing us.
Anyhow, every single county, red, blue, and white, voted against the smokers. Something like seventy-percent of the vote cast was for the anti-smoking bill. Personally, I think there’s a civil rights issue here. If a business wants to be a smoking establishment, and posts such intention on the door, well then, they should be able to. No one is forcing me to come in. Public buildings, courts, police stations, malls, should all be non-smoking. And I do think the vestibules of public buildings should be off limits as well. Entering or emerging from a public building and having to run the gauntlet of carcinogens and having no choice but to do so is a violation of my right to only inhale hydrocarbon exhaust and ozone from automobiles, arsenic for smelters, carbon monoxide and particulates for old-fashioned woodstoves and an occasional release of radon for the nuke plant. But really, this may be an opportunity in disguise for owners of private casinos. Now they finally have something Indian casinos don’t—a smoke free atmosphere. Ol’ Eddie Emphysema and his rolling oxygen tank finally has a place to go to gamble. And he can bring the grandkids along to the casino daycare center while he’s at it. That ought make up for no slot machines somehow. Now if they could only sell fireworks...
America ya gotta love it.