#205 De-Xmas

Now is the time to strip the tree, pack up all the decorations, and generally de-christmasize our homes. A few folks in our neighborhood, I among them, have yet to stop turning on the outside Christmas lights. They are so beautiful and they make even the dreariest Northwest night seem gay. Deck the halls and all that stuff.
But, inevitably, it will be the time to return to the gray rain of winter. No snow, no sun, just clouds, clouds, clouds, and rain, rain, rain. The two constants of the Northwest: Gray clouds and rain. Grayn. Gray clouds and dim sunlight. Graylight. Come spring it’ll be graylight savings time. But it’ll still be gray. It’s no wonder we cling to the sparkling and shimmering multicolored lights. It’s the only color we have.
But indoors, the tree o’ xmas is on its last limbs. Needles are dropping like needles from an old fir tree and they’re piling up like kindling underneath a bonfire. The tree has gone from the solstice evergreen to the post-solstice everbrown. You know you’ve waited too long to take off ornaments when every time you do, a cloud of needles rains down like rain from a cloud of rain. Must be my seasonal affected disorder. Similes are coming tough this morning.
Time to pack away all the special hand towels and dishrags and napkins. Time to fold away little Susie’s third-grade cut-up aluminum pie pan tree. Time to tuck away Aunt Myrtle’s crocheted perennial advent calendar. Time to file all the cards from folks who added themselves to your Christmas card return list for next year. And most of all it’s time to try to get rid of all the gol-durn glitter.
Ah, glitter. It comes on “special” wrapping paper, it comes on cards, some people even sprinkle it directly on the gifts they give. Bastards. Micro-fine glitter. Nanodecor. Sparkly and cute at first, but more permanent that a dust mite. Glitter, the anthrax of decorations. I used to think there was nothing more persistent than pine needles and Easter grass. But American technology triumphs once again. I have found glitter in ever nook and cranny of my house. And my body. And once it sticks to your skin it’s got more specific gravity and suck power than a black hole. You can’t even wash it off. You see a little sparkle in the mirror as you step out of the shower and you say, when did I touch myself there?
So what the heck, if even my tush is going to sparkle with the multicolored festiveness of the season I might as well leave up my outside Christmas lights a little while longer. We get enough gray. And this time of year is made a little more bearable by the reflection of the multicolored rainbow of lights on the little drops of rain. It makes the whole world glitter like it’s covered with, well, glitter.
America, ya gotta love it.