#4 Toasted

So I'm watching TV the other night. And like every good American out there I'm thumbing through the channels the minute the commercials start and I notice for the first time that every channel I turn to also has a commercial going. Never one to accept the truth when a conspiracy theory will do just fine, I think: Those dirty Fat Cats. They're making me watch commercials whether I like it or not. I mize well be back in the fifties with three fuzzy channels and a dial clear across the room. I mean, I felt so helpless.
But not as helpless as advertisers must feel. They've been given an opportunity by this time slot conspiracy but it's still an awfully big challenge. They know people are still thumbing their remotes during the break. The challenge: How to catch someone's attention in a split second.
And by "split" I mean a tiny moment of time indeed. The speed of light being 186,000 miles a second that little infrared beam from your remote can make it across the room pretty darn quick.
Perhaps that explains the new Quizno's commercial that debuted during the last Superbowl. You know the one: The little baby with the superimposed Johnny Quest lips who renders adult judgements on food quality. What I'm saying is: Something made me stop channel changing and settle on this commercial. My first thought was, grotesque. I was reminded of nothing more than that Chucky character from those bad "Childs Play" horror movies. Hey. That's my idea of a good snack: One touted by a frightening munchkin with a penchant for something toasty. Needless to say, my thumb hit the remote and fled for its life. But I guess it worked. I still remember it, me and my friends are still talking about it, and I'm sure that someday my nightmares will be less frequent. I guess my subconscious recalls that what finally supposedly killed Chucky in one movie was that he got burned up in some old house. Get toasty indeed.
America, ya gotta love it.